Broken By Time
by Emerald-Shadow-Knight
Summary: Even after several years, he never forgot the man he admired so much... Oneshot. Contains spoilers and may be OOC.


Note: I'm going by the year stated in the anime, which would mean this oneshot takes place in 2016. Just in case anyone is confused.

Also, there may be OOC, due to the fact that I've not actually seen the anime in years.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

* * *

"I know, Dad...Yeah, Dad. I'm aware this means this was all for nothing, but..." Touta Matsuda looked at his watched trying to remember how long he'd been on the phone.

"Dad. I have my reasons." At this, Matsuda tried to lighten the situation. "And don't worry, I already know what I'm going to do. What is it? It's a secret!" He said chuckling.

"But yeah, Dad. Don't worry about me. Your son Matsuda's got it all figured out." Finally content with the answer he gave, Matsuda said his goodbye and hung up.

...

"Aizawa?" Admittedly, Matsuda was nervous with what he was about to do. He knocked on the door to Aizawa's office, before entering. He noticed the amount of paperwork on the desk. That was to be expected, though, for the director of the team.

"Yes? What is it, Matsuda?" The irritation in his voice didn't go unnoticed. Suddenly, Matsuda wasn't sure if this was a good idea. Trembling slightly, he pulled out the paper he had tucked under his arm.

"I..." Matsuda cleared his throat, and nervously chuckled. Gathering up the courage he had, he set the paper onto Aizawa's desk in front of him. "This is my letter of resignation, sir."

The younger man straightened up, trying his best not to crack under the pressure. Aizawa looked over the paper, before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Matsuda, you idiot. I don't have time for your jokes." The director pushed the paper away. Matsuda gulped.

"It's, uh...It's not a joke, sir. I'm...I'm really resigning."

Aizawa's eyes widened. "Seriously? You're not pulling my leg?" Matsuda nodded, causing Aizawa to jump out of his chair.

"Are you nuts?! You can't quit the force! I mean, look at you! You're in your mid-thirties, and you're not cut out for any other job! What are you going to do with yourself? What even brought this on?"

Matsuda looked away, knowing Aizawa wasn't going to like the answer. "November 11th is coming up."

"What does that have to do with anything-" Aizawa cut himself short when he realized what Matsuda was getting at. Knowing the importance of the day, he sat back down and nodded.

"Be careful out there, Matsuda." The two men nodded, before Matsuda took his leave. One last time, he heard Aizawa mutter the words that he'd heard so often be uttered one last time:

"Matsuda, you idiot."

...

He hadn't even bothered to inform the other members. Matsuda had simply packed up his things and left. Now, he was making his way through the cemetery. He recalled that Soichiro Yagami's wife had obtained her husband's ashes. Knowing that, he wasn't sure if Soichiro had been buried here, alongside his son Light.

Light. To know that the young man was the man they'd been pursuing all along...That very knowledge alone haunted him. Granted, Matsuda had sympathized with Kira somewhat, but it had still been a mighty blow.

He remembered the tears blurring his vision when he had shot Light. He remembered the anger he felt when Light insulted Soichiro, his own father, and the man Matsuda always looked up to. Hearing the mockery and insults had only incited Matsuda's rage back then.

Matsuda looked at his hands. He'd always been a good shot, but he hadn't so much as handled a gun since that day. It brought back memories he didn't want to think about.

On the way out of the cemetery, Matsuda passed L's grave. Oddly, he didn't really stop to look. Then again, L had pretty much used him as nothing more than a coffee courier. Perhaps the years had passed enough for him to almost forget L.

...

Matsuda never got any letters anymore. After Light's death, he tried his best to keep in contact with Sachiko and Sayu over the years. There had been little to talk about, though. In the end, he stopped receiving letters, so he stopped sending them.

It did hurt Matsuda to know that. He at least hoped that Sayu was getting better. Without letters, though, he couldn't know for sure. In the end, Matsuda decided that it was for the best.

After all, it wasn't like he had any real connections left to them anyway.

Sitting down at the dinner table by himself, Matsuda took hold of a pen and piece of paper, and began to compose one last letter:

"To whom it may concern:"

...

November 11th had come. Four years ago today, Soichiro Yagami had passed away. His death had not been a pleasant one. It honestly broke Matsuda's heart to see his hero dying the way he did.

It didn't help that Soichiro died thinking Light wasn't Kira. On the other hand, perhaps it was good that the man died happy. That way he wouldn't have had to suffer from the truth.

But now, Matsuda mused, he was no longer suffering. He had been in a very good place for four years now. And perhaps now, it was time to join him.

Standing at the top of the highest building he could find, Matsuda removed his shoes. He placed his letter in one of the soles, then approached the edge.

Four years ago today, Soichiro was killed. And now, on the anniversary of his death, Matsuda was going to join him. Hoping all his connections in this world were now severed, Matsuda shed a tear.

Looking over the city, he couldn't help but smile. He wasn't sure if anyone would know or care about him. Just as long as someone out there discovered his last words, he would be all right with that. To know his role in the Kira case, hopefully that was satisfactory.

Matsuda gave one last look behind him, making sure no one was going to come up and try and stop him. He then focused his attention on the now setting son. Matsuda couldn't help but think of how oddly appropriate it was.

With that, Matsuda took a step off the edge, and let himself fall.

Even as he rapidly hurtled toward the ground, the smile on his face never left. Not even as his world abruptly went dark.

* * *

I don't know what compelled me to write this. I suppose this was on a whim.

-Emerald-Shadow-Knight


End file.
